Some days I wake up and I feel off. Like a thread came loose in my sleep and I am slowly unraveling. My breath feels panicky like I am watching a scary movie and I keep waiting for the monster to jump out, but it doesn’t, so I am left holding my breath. I feel like there is a cloak over my shoulders pulling at the places where my fat likes to sit. Weighing down on me like a thousand sad thoughts. I went from a AA cup to a D cup and people keep telling me how lucky I am, but I don’t feel lucky I feel fat. I wish I could explain to you the wholeness I feel when I am naked with him under the sheets, like I’m not afraid of the way my body curves in places I am not used to. I wish I didn’t feel whole when I have someone else to share breath with, but I do. I lack confidence like a baby bird lacks the ability to believe it can fly. I wonder if I was pushed out of the nest too soon. Some days I soar like an eagle, but today I trudge like a sloth, and I want to believe I am good enough, but I cannot seem to find the words to pick myself up when all I feel is lost.